Thursday, August 7, 2014

A day in the life of E Step

Yesterday D Step and I were talking about how difficult our boys lives are.  E Step especially has a tough life.  We decided it would be really funny to write about a day in his life.  We joked all night about how it would go.  So this morning I began taking note of everything.  Unfortunately it is mentally exhausting on me, so this will have to be a multiple part series.  I hope to continue it in the years to come for both boys.  I was cracking myself up during this.  I will have to show it to his girlfriends someday!

6:12- I am awake.  Nobody is here to pick me up immediately.  I cry
6:22- Finally Mama comes in.  She kisses me and I give her a big hug to remind her of my cuteness.  It works.
6:23- Mama lays back in her bed with me.  She wants to snuggle.
6:24- I don't want to snuggle.  I want to eat.
6:25- I leave my room and walk around the house aimlessly.
6:26- I woke my brother up.  He is cranky.  I will ignore him.  He goes to say good morning to Mama.
6:27- Dad gives me milk.  I have 4 sips and toss it on the ground.
6:28- Dad goes in the other room to get dressed.
6:36- I see the dog's water bowl.  I pick it up and dump it on the floor.  Amazing.  The water spills all over the kitchen
6:37- Mom and Dad run in.  Boy they sure are cranky this morning.  Mom picks me up to distract me while Dad cleans it up.
6:38- Mom turns the TV on and snuggles with me on the couch.  I don't want to snuggle.  I want to eat.
6:48-Mom pours me Cheerios
6:49- I want the wheat thins from the cupboard.  Mom says no.  I throw a tantrum and bash my head in the floor
6:53-Finally mom gives me cheerios and goes in the other room to make my second breakfast- pancakes.
7:03-I'm not a dog.  Why would mom put these cheerios in a bowl?  I dump the cheerios on the the table and toss the bowl over my shoulder.  The dog thinks I'm giving him a treat.  Sucker.
7:09-My brother is watching Mickey without me.  I leave the kitchen to see my main squeeze
7:12- The dog has a tail.  I should pull it.
7:13- My brother offers me milk.  How dare he!  I run away to watch Mickey.
7:28- Mom is making pancakes.  I am really hungry.  Why don't these people feed me?
7:29- I run to Mama and give her legs a big hug.  She is busy. She picks me up and goes in the kitchen with me.  She gives me a pancake.  Finally.
7:30- I finish the pancake.  I am starving still.  She's holding out on me. I run away.
7:33- Mom picks me up and puts me in the high chair at the table.  She hands me another pancake and calls me a piggy.
7:35- I finish the pancake.  I'm still hungry.
7:36- Mom gives me another pancake.
7:38- I finish the pancake.  I'm still hungry.  Mom tells me that's enough pancakes.  She gets me grapes.
7:40- I don't want this grape in my mouth anymore.  I spit it out and toss it on the floor.  Mom runs in and grabs it before the dog can eat it.  I don't know why she freaks out when I try to give the dog grapes.
7:41- She walks away.  My brother tries to distract me by offering me cheerios.  I'm cranky
7:45- Mom comes in and picks me up.
7:47- I want something in the fridge.  Mom yells at me as I open the door.  I found grapes.  Yum.  I love grapes!
7:48- Mom catches me trying to get a grape.  She picks me up and puts me on the couch.
7:53- I crawl on the top of the couch.  Mom doesn't like it when I do that.  She comes in and yells at both my brother and I.
7:58- I found binoculars.  I play with them a long time.
8:03- I run in the kitchen while Mom is cleaning up.  I show her the binoculars.  She shows me how to use them.  She looks funny.
8:10- Mom is cleaning up again.  I sneak in the kitchen and steal another pancake from the counter.
8:13- I am bored.  I toss my pancake on the floor.  Mom picks it up just before the dog comes in and spots it.
8:14- I'm hungry.  I want a pancake.
8:15- I open the fridge.  I spot apples.  Mom says no.  I throw a tantrum.  She goes in the kitchen and cuts up the apple she was trying to eat.
8:18- I run in Mom and Dad's room and throw the fan into the wall.  Mom runs in.
8:20- Mom finally sits down to eat breakfast.
8:24- I can't find Mom.  Found her in the bathroom. She is sitting on that ceramic hole of water that makes things disappear.
8:25- I discover Mom has pajama pants at her ankles.  I attempt to get inside, but then remember she has a belly button.  I want to give her raspberries!
8:26- I decide I want to sit on Mom's lap.  I crawl up.  My brother walks in.  Mom seems annoyed, but I'm giving her the sweetest face.  Then I spot that rectangular thing that she talks to people on and types with.  I want it now.  She hands it to me but it isn't doing anything exciting. She locked it.
8:27- Mom picks me up and brings me in the other room.  I arch my back and toss and turn.  Then I spot the fridge again.
8:28- I find yogurt inside.  I want it! I grab one for each hand.  Mom says I can only have 1.  She opens it for me.  It is good.
8:30- Mom comes to check on me with the rectangular thing again.  I am covered in yogurt.  I even squeeze some on the chair and my belly for the dog.  I like to share.

8:33- Mom cleans my hands and takes my clothes off.  Hey I have a penis!  I have to touch it!
8:34- I run in the other room to show my brother my penis.  He calls me a naked booty.  I run away.
8:36- Mom comes in the room with clothes and a diaper.  She can't catch me!  I run away.  She gives up and walks away
8:39- I found binoculars and go to show Mom.  She picks me up and says, "Gotcha!"  She grabs my clothes and diaper and lays me on the ground to get me dressed.  She fooled me again!
8:40- Mom attempts to get my clothes on.  While she is putting my diaper on, she starts counting to three.  I know what this means- my favorite thing.  She is going to give me raspberries when she says three!  She gets to 2.  I can't wait any longer!  I yell "three!" and she gives me raspberries on my belly.  This is the life.
8:41- She wants to put my arms in the holes of my onesie, but I'm holding the binoculars.  She rips my hand away from them.  Eventually I'm dressed.  But I can't find my penis anymore!  I can't believe it's gone!
8:49- I found a toy car!

9:05- My brother is going potty.  I have to come watch.
9:06- He comes in the kitchen without any clothes on.  Hey he has a penis!  I used to have one of those!  I wonder where it went.  I wish I could touch it.

To be continued....